We the People of the United States of America...

ok... here it is. I have been mentally cooking how to phrase this blog post for well over a year but I have finally, on the eve of the President's 1st State of the Union Address, had enough. I have had enough of spin, of rhetoric, of talking heads who twist each and every piece of data and poll result into an object lesson for their side. Let's start off from my own political perspective because the labels no longer fit the majority of the voters and to just slap a label on me is to underestimate where my vote may or may not go on Election Day.

I am a small-"c" conservative and a member of the Republican Party. Since 1982, when I first registered to vote, I have voted in almost every primary and every general election except one (1984 -- it was a geographic thing). For a time in the 1990s, I was a registered Democrat and switched back to the GOP because the Dems simply did not understand what the People were saying to them. The Republicans seemed to understand the concept of smaller federal government in favor of local control of most issues. Or they used to understand that concept better than the Democrats. Now, neither side of the debate, on a national level, gets it. Every problem that we face as a country could be better solved if the national politicians not only "got it", but acted on that indefinable "it" in a manner that is consistent with the Constitution of these United States.

I am personally pro-Life. I believe that Life begins at conception and ends when God decides that person's time is done. I do not believe that anyone else gets to make that decision for another person though -- up to a certain and reasonable point. My belief in the point in time at which Life begins is just that -- my BELIEF. I have no scientific ability to back it up. I am not God nor am I His messenger on Earth. People should get to make that decision on their own belief structure up until that decision takes a viable life. My own solution would be to allow abortion up until the end of the first trimester so long as counseling on other options is actively provided AND so long as the person is over the age of 18. I believe in parental consent laws. I do NOT believe abortion should be legal after 12 weeks or so unless the mother's physical health/life is in documented grave danger. That is MY belief; agreement isn't necessary. I am not running for President or Senator or any other national office that seems to have taken over yet another local issue for the federal government.

I am also, therefore, anti death penalty. Save your arguments about why the death penalty is ok -- it's the law of many states and the wish of the majority. I disagree with the majority on that issue because I do not believe the government has the right to take a life. What if the government gets it wrong? Even if they get it wrong ONE time, it becomes state-sponsored murder. I am not ok with that. I am a huge fan of real life sentences without the slightest chance of parole. Throw a convicted murdered/child molester/terrorist into the deepest, darkest, dampest hole you can find. Do not give that person internet access or unlimited appeals. But taking their life is just plain wrong. And again, criminal law should be a state-based issue. Federal government can deal with criminality in the military or from terror attacks (and in military tribunals for God's sake!). Let the states deal with issues locally wherever possible.

Is anyone sensing a theme yet? Without going into an endless lecture about the limitations placed on the federal government by our Founding Fathers, let's just say it simply: Jefferson and Madison et al. got it correctly. Small federal government is best and should have LIMITED powers to deal with the bigger picture issues. It is simple. If I have a problem with cars driving too fast near my son's bus stop, I will make that problem known to my local Board of Supervisors in my township. I will NOT ask my two senators to pass a federal law that ties highway funding to the number of tickets written by all jurisdictions in America with no money set aside to track such tickets and with no controls on how long the program lasts. The abuse of the federal powers is rampant in this country and neither side gets it.

Now I am a little spoiled. I live in a Republican township, in a Republican school district and a Republican county where the elected officials pride themselves on keeping our taxes as low as they see possible (they don't always succeed, but they DO try). I can and do use our public schools for my kids. Because I am involved with my community, I know who to turn to if there is a problem. Not everyone is so lucky. The gluttony of the federal government over the past two decades is now so out of control that if you put a stop to one piece of spending, it becomes an unraveling of the entire federal government and therefore the state governments that have become addicted to the federal funds that they should never have received in the first place.

So step back and imagine what the federal government SHOULD look like under the Constitution with its current amendments. National defense? Absolutely... mandated by the Constitution. Postal service and currency...? Yep. Articles of Confederation didn't work so well when we were first starting out because 13 colonies with their own monetary systems wasn't so great. Immigration...? Yep... it relates to the borders. Interstate commerce...? Yep.... but not everything IS interstate commerce that is claimed as such; that's the second biggest power grab in American history. Maintenance of federal highways...? Of course, but not as a political blackmail tool to get the states to comply with unrelated federal legislation. Banking regulation.....yep. Within reason and only because currency and the value of the dollar relate to the value of the federal dollar. That being permissible, there is an extremely fine line between regulation and dictating to private companies. The banks insured by the FDIC (a federal agency) should be required to be responsible in their overall practices and report problems in a timely manner -- they should NOT be charged fees which WILL be passed on to their customers and which will further tighten lending and therefore consumer spending. Common sense.... what a concept.

Everything else... let me repeat that EVERYTHING else is in the purview of the state or local governments under the 10th Amendment. Without the 10th Amendment, 4 or 5 of the 13 colonies would not have ratified the Constitution. Period. The Founding Fathers did not believe that a large federal government was a good idea. We fought a war over this in the 1860s. I know that the South lost and that history is written by the victors, but even the Union troops are rolling in their graves at HOW big the federal government has now become. Some areas where the federal government should not ever, ever be...? Education, Health care (except as it relates to crossing state borders which should be regulared as the banks should be; a Glass/Steagal Act for the insurance companies), Welfare, Unemployment, and all of the "social issues" for which there is a tremendous variance across the country.

Auto company bailouts....? I don't think so. Not ever!!!!!!! I don't see the federal government lending my small business a large chunk of money that allows me to pay myself a huge bonus. Like all small business owners, I am struggling right now. If my struggling clients don't have money, I don't get paid. I am still providing legal services, but these people can't pay what they don't have. Federal Government having summit after summit -- on race, on the middle class, on climate change -- NO, NO, NO!!!!! I want the transparency the President promised when he ran for office. How much did President Obama's trip to MA to stump for Martha Coakley cost the taxpayers????? That is political action. How much did the trip to go get the Olympics to Chicago cost???????? Add up all of these junkets and travels and photo opportunities and you are talking REAL money. All the pork in the so-called Stimulus Package (also inappropriate)...? I want to see every penny posted on the internet like we were promised. Oh wait.... President Obama is great at speaking. Not so much with the governing.

The GOP is equally at fault. Not only did former President George W. Bush never meet a spending bill he didn't sign, but the GOP (nationally) is so damn worried about social issues in which the federal government has NO business that they are just as guilty of the spending. Stop running to the Far Right, guys.... I am looking for fiscal conservatives who give more than lip service to the size of federal government. I don't care if, in running for federal office, you share my beliefs and values. Those running for federal office need to learn the lesson of NJ, VA and MA. That lesson is NOT that the GOP candidate should win or will win... that is simply a decent by-product of the lesson because it limits what the Far Left can do to us.

Both parties are SO far away from what Joe and Jane Smith want or need from their representatives. Maybe THEY should stop listening to Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olberman tell them we want. Maybe they should listen to what We the People are telling them... because we are shouting it over and over again.

We didn't start the fire...

it was always burning since the World's been turning.

Free association is the only way that I can reflect on 2009 in any sort of meaningful way and Billy Joel's epic words have never been more true than in this crazy, maddening, overwhelming, ever-changing, upsetting and joyful end to a difficult decade. So here goes...

Recruiter's visit, documents, MEPS and DEP. June date, never mind, April is a finer time. Party for our family, that date is not good for me. Easter Sunday, all together... BMT the next day. BMI, 319, is he coming home again? Heat in San Antonio, riding on an airplane. Mississippi, never mind, we'll go to Mobile this time. Rental car in Alabama, a new one in Biloxi now. A week in heat, humidity, shrimp boating and a Confederate cemetery. Plane ride, back again, Mark's phone flushed down the airplane potty. When is Jr. coming home? Driving through a 2 foot storm. Safe at last, home again, broke his ribs while hugging him. Next stop Italy... got your passport, family?

We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the World's been turning...

New President, federal spending, auto bailouts, stimuli. Do we have a 10th Amendment? Never mind, it's inconvenient. Cash for Clunkers, Health Care plans, unemployment double digits. More troops to Afghanistan but without a working plan. Underwear bombers on Christmas Day; Obama looks the other way. What's politically expedient? He'll find it every time for sure. Senators who switch their party, bribes to others for their votes. Politics in 2009??? Give me Clinton back again!

We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the World's been turning...

Blake's death, Eagles losing, rain and rain and Phillies losing. Many people, fewer friends, endings o'er and o'er again. Wait, it's Fall, Eagles back. I still believe and don't look back. Knitting 'til my fingers bleed, making cards and writing briefs. Changes, changes everywhere... and without a cigarette!!!!

We didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the World's been turning...

Knitting friends who sent me yarn, Black Friday shopping, Wicked tickets, Eagles/Dallas for the title, for the bye and for home field. And...

Most of all, there is HOPE. Not the false, politically nuanced crap that is perpetually spewed by our elected representatives. But I have a true feeling that the new decade will bring change and chaos but with a renewed positive outlook. Not only is Mark Jr. about to have the adventure of a lifetime by being stationed in Italy. Not only are all five of my children thriving in their schools, activities, jobs and careers. Not only am I starting the New Year and decade with my incredible husband, my sons and Jr's friend (and Wii bowling).

But Melissa and Mike got engaged on Christmas Day -- and I knew for a week because Mike properly asked Mark for her hand. We spent this afternoon craft shopping and wedding planning for a wedding that is tentatively scheduled for October 1, 2011, our anniversary and my Daddy's birthday. My family has been together for the holidays and we are truly blessed by that -- most military families do not have that luxury and we are beyond grateful that the schedule was finally in our favor!

For all of you who lifted me up, held my hand, dried my tears in 2009... may this new decade bring you peace, prosperity and joy.

Lazy while crazy

It was simply too cold and damp and my knees were in agony after Jenny's ballet class today. I really NEED to use my Saturdays efficiently since it's Fall and the Eagles are playing AND the Phillies too. That being said, I have been going like the Energizer Bunny on steroids for months and months and months. Work, the kids' activities, going to San Antonio and Biloxi and New Orleans (funny... I got there before Obama did as President!), wondering WHERE my son will be heading next (and losing sleep over the obvious answer to that question), politics and occasionally knitting in between. Even the knitting is pressure-oriented at this time of year between Christmas presents and the Woman's Club craft auction. Melissa and I spent two nights this week making Christmas cards to be sold at the auction and I'm doing a baby blanket too (and carrying Chip's girlfriend's socks as a portable project -- NOT posting a picture because she doesn't get to see them UNTIL Christmas; she picked the yarn out though). When I realized yesterday that I was putting February trial dates into my blackberry and it was SO raw out today, I jumped off the hamster wheel upon which I spend my life. Sort of.

One of my ongoing projects has been scanning old pictures so as to preserve them. I haven't had 30 seconds to sit and scan since the Air Force consumed my existence in March when they moved Jr's reporting date, but here and there I scan a few pictures. Today, I scanned more than a few. I went through the remainder of pictures my mother had asked me to scan, got ALL of the kids' school and activity and prom pictures scanned and scanned some of the pictures from when the older three kids were small -- the blackmail potential is tremendous!!!!! Then I took the three hours and burned pictures onto a disk -- that process seems like it shouldn't take as long as it does. It probably would have been faster if I had just burned ALL of the scanned pictures, but I knew my mother only wanted certain ones and there are a LOT of scanned pictures. So that was my cold and rainy Saturday afternoon (and evening -- I just finished!). My knees hurt more now than they did this morning because scanning sounds like a passive project, but isn't. I have to get up and down and walk around my table and put the now-scanned pictures into safer storage than they have been over the years. One of the interesting things that I learned when I started scrapbooking and card making (which is absolutely Melissa's and my FAVORITE new thing to do because the product is simply FUN) is that pictures degrade over time because of a chemical called "lignan." I'm probably spelling that incorrectly, but it's what fades and browns pictures. So as I scan the old family pictures (some of which are from WAY before I was born like my Daddy in Korea), I am re-storing all of them in such a way so as to preserve them as well as possible.

What else is new...? Phillies vs. Dodgers in the NLCS. Everything old is new again has become my mantra. It's not just from last year, but from the late 1970s. Dodgers would beat the Phillies in the NLCS and then we would cheer for the Yankees (who Daddy cheered for anyway) to beat the Dodgers. Phillies vs. Dodgers..... did I expect a repeated World Series visit to be easy???? Nope... I am FAR too realistic a Philadelphia sports fan. Last year's October 29th miracle is still fresh in my mind and spirit -- and will always be one of the most fun days of my life. The Eagles are working their usual stress on me -- I think that's why stress at work, with the kids, with all of the "stuff" I do on a daily basis isn't so big a deal. I'm an Eagles fan... always... and that brings a certain level of perpetual angst to one's life; especially in October. Especially when the Phillies are post-season as well. What we have NOT done this year is to add to the Eagles stress by inviting everyone and their cousin over on Sundays. We want to watch the games and spend quality family time -- Eagles time is about ALL the time we can make to be together. And we've taught Jenny to cheer and yell for our Beloved Birds. At three, she needed to get used to being in this house on Fall Sundays.

The kids... Jenny started preschool at Gwynedd Mercy's Hobbit House. The program is outstanding, the teachers and staff are the most incredible people on the planet and I love that she is there. SHE loves that she is there. She also doesn't show her Jenny-ness at Hobbit House. Her teacher was saying to me earlier this week how Jenny cooperates, how Jenny blesses herself and prays before she eats, how Jenny shares with the other children. On and on about how sweet and cooperative a child she is -- I almost asked "is there another Jennifer in the class?" We got into the car. Jenny waited until I got in and started yelling at me about something and telling me "my daddy says..." which is her newest thing: if she gets an answer she doesn't like, she will inform the adult giving her the non-pleasing answer that "her Daddy/Mommy/Chippy/Ryan says" the opposite of the non-pleasing answer. My youngest daughter is QUITE a handful at home. At school, at swimming lessons, at ballet class, at restaurants, at craft stores... she's the perfect child. No one believes me and Mark and Chip when we tell them she's sassy! She is taking non-recital ballet class and swimming lessons and enjoying both activities thoroughly.

Ryan is enjoying third grade (most of the time -- he IS eight after all). He also started playing the cello which I expected to make my house sound like someone was strangling a cat for at least a few weeks. Nope... he is playing beautifully and really enjoys it. He doesn't enjoy carrying the cello to and from school on Mondays for lessons and Fridays for orchestra practice, but he loves playing. Naturally, he is back into winter swimming so he's out two nights per week (with Mark -- Jenny and I are solo which is usually when I find some mindless knitting project so as to NOT listen to her watching Caillou on demand!). The moment the rain stopped today, he and his friends were outside, running around and having a good time. Eight is a challenge for parents, but it's a happy time for kids, I think.

Jr. is still in Mississippi where he says it is still hot as blazes. He told us a few weeks ago that he was being stationed in Italy once he finishes his training but this week said that he may be going to Northern England instead (both of which are his dream bases and either place would make a LOVELY vacation destination next Spring/Summer for me). From wherever he goes next, he is deployable but I really, REALLY try not to think about that overly much. I think I would lose what little sleep I still manage to get if I thought about deployments too much. He loves the Air Force and is doing well. We are very proud of him and his service to our country.

Chip was able to get a limited time, permanent building substitute position which ends the middle of November. After that, I guess he'll go back to daily subbing. However, he also got a job as the lead singer in a cover band that performs up and down the Northeast corridor. He's been in Virginia all weekend and was in New Jersey last weekend. It's pretty awesome for him to be able to use his talents since he has yet to find a full time teaching job. On that note, my husband is still working without a contract on last year's salary and without the HUGE bump he should have gotten for finishing his Master's plus 30. He'll get the retroactive pay eventually, but things are tight since we budgeted for the raise AND for my clients to pay me regularly. Thank God we don't have extravagant tastes -- we would be in big trouble if we did.

Melissa is working for the county and has also picked up a 2nd job so as to save for a car and for a wedding. Nope... no date yet (did you hear screaming from PA...? Then there's no date), but planning is starting. She and Mike have decided not to do a destination wedding so finances are in play there too. She's doing wonderfully in all aspects of her life and Mark and I are really proud of the young woman she has become -- it's funny too because all of the other criminal lawyers are always telling me how awesome she is. "Is there another Melissa working at the Clerk of Courts???" Just kidding, sweetie.

Finally, there is politics... I have been pondering how best to address my feelings about the national stuff and am just not there yet. So here's the local.... there are SEVEN opening for judges in my county due to retirements, deaths and 2 new judges. We currently have ONE woman judge on our bench (and she's a brilliant woman and a nice lady). I'm not sure I need to say more than THERE IS ONE WOMAN JUDGE IN MY COUNTY!!!! However, gender alone is not enough for me so for those of you in Montgomery County who are reading this, I will ask you to ask yourself a few questions before voting for judges for the Montgomery County Court of Common Pleas: (1) Has the attorney been an actively practicing lawyer IN MONTGOMERY COUNTY for the past five years? Not a recent member of the Montco. bar association because they practice law in Philly and live in Montco. If the candidate has not been an active Montgomery County lawyer for AT LEAST five years, please do not vote for them. They will not know our rules and procedures. They are carpetbaggers and things are run more smoothly and differently here than in Philly. OUR system works because the lawyers know it. If a judge does NOT know it, it's going to be like a monkey wrench in the gearshift. (2) Has the candidate been practicing law for at least 14 years? If not, they are junior to me and I would prefer -- this time around; we have 5 more spots in 2 years -- they not be chosen as a judge. (3) Does the candidate have something to offer OTHER than gender, race, ethnicity? Has she or he been active in our community? Has she or he volunteered to chair bar association committees? Has she or he practiced in a broad range of cases OR has she or he practiced in one area for such a long period of time that the candidate could take the criminal, civil, family or probate bench IMMEDIATELY and have the knowledge to sit in judgment of issues.

I am openly supporting two candidates although I know exactly who I am voting for each of the seven spots. Patricia Coonahan and Carolyn Tornetta Carluccio meet each and every one of my requirements as a citizen, a voter and a lawyer. Both women are dear friends of mine and I have served on bar association committees and taught CLE classes and know them to be honorable, smart and fair. Pat, the chief of the DA's Appellate Division, is one of my constant adversaries and she has never treated me with anything but respect and fairness. She is probably the smartest woman I know and would make an incredible judge. Carolyn has lived her whole life in Montgomery County. She was the first woman Chief Public Defender. She's been a prosecutor, a defense lawyer a civil lawyer and now does land usage work. Her son and mine were in musical theater together a hundred years ago and she is a great mom and a better lawyer. She also single-handedly brought the Women in Law committee back from the dead back when NO ONE was part of it. Think carefully about who you vote for, but PLEASE give Pat and Carolyn your votes!

And now it's 9:20 and I'm going to have dinner and watch mindless TV with my husband. For the record, I am now eight months smoke-free (as of yesterday) and have lost 11 pounds on weight watchers (which I went back on last month). I have a LOT to go with the weight, but I feel wonderful now that I can breathe again. I can't WALK most days because of knee pain, but I can breathe.

And the Phillies and in the NLC and the Eagles play every Sunday and my children are happy and healthy and well. My life is good and no one can take that away from me no matter how hard some people have tried to do so over the years. As I read back on the 2009 posts and really recognize the journey that has occurred, I realize that 2009 has become 200-mine after all. I don't CARE what others think because I know that I am a good mom, a decent lawyer and i feel very content with where I am as this year creeps to a close.

Thanks for reading!

I believe I can fly... 2009 opening day edition

It never changes... every year on opening day of the Eagles season, I just KNOW that this will be THE YEAR. I guess when you've been a real Eagles fan for four decades, there isn't a lot of choice BUT to believe or you shouldn't call yourself a fan. Last January, when the impossible almost happened and then the year went downhill (fast!), I let myself believe that there would be a parade on Broad Street sometime around my 45th birthday. But then the Arizona Cardinals wanted it JUST a little bit more (and God Bless them because they were SO disrespected; as an Eagles fan, I get that). In the off-season, the Eagles didn't re-sign my much-loved Brian Dawkins. They signed Michael Vick (REALLY?!?!?!?!). Defensive Coordinator Jim Johnson first retired and then died.

Then my friend's son died. Then the Air Force decided that my schedule was something to be toyed with; just on principle. Then I took the surgical scalpel was taken to my life (with VERY positive results... I am SO much happier as a rule without the non-entities pretending to care when it's convenient to them). Then there were the trips to the HEAT of Texas and Mississippi and the returns to the non-stop rain. There were professional triumphs and then the self-questioning about whether anything I do professionally mattered (it does, but THAT was a struggle since late June). There was the "is my husband's teachers' union going on strike?!?!?!?!" stress, the "getting Ryan back to school and he wants to play the cello" stress, the lack of a permanent teaching job for my "always does the right thing" son and the schedule snafu on Thursday (September 10th) that almost, but not quite, had me crying in public.

But there are SO many blessings. Ryan is showing interest in music and is excited to play the cello (which is unGODLY expensive by the way!!!). Jenny started school on September 11th and, instead of letting the Empty Nest feeling take control of me, I organized my yarn and crafting supplies. Her school is SO wonderful and proved it again on Thursday night when I was sad -- those people are AMAZING although saying a temporary good bye to her babysitter (and my surrogate mother) on Thursday afternoon was agonizing. Sue loves us unconditionally; it's such a nice thing to have someone like that in your life! Chip is subbing in a couple of districts AND got the Assistant Drama Director job at our local middle school. Mark Jr. WILL be home for Christmas after graduating his tech school in Mississippi on December 18th (and may be home on and off for several weeks). And there may be a dual celebration when he is home -- biting my tongue on that one for now.

And then, today, after eight of the most grueling months (in a row) that I can remember. After quitting smoking despite all of the stress. After GETTING the younger kids and my husband back to school. After feeling as if I was choking for SO long... 1 p.m. EST rolled around. There was food. There were cosmos (and LOTS of beer for my husband... he's a little tipsy LOL). There was my family -- including a call from Jr. in Mississippi for his 20th birthday (WHERE the HELL did that lifetime go?!?!?). There was the Fox Sports football prognosticators saying (Coach Johnson): "I think the Eagles are going to win it all but not today."

And then my Beloved Birds ROARED into the Panther's Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, NC (where I involuntarily spent some extra time last month). In a year that has brought SO much change and confusion and questioning about whether doing the RIGHT thing was the right thing to do... I still believe in my Eagles. How can I NOT believe in my Eagles?! Broken ribs...? Either McNabb can play or Vick can take over in Week Three (Kevin Kolb...? Not so much! Can we have AJ Feeley back please?!). We liked what we saw -- our Birds literally forced the Panthers to forfeit the game in the 3rd quarter!! I absolutely LOVE that the four teams that matter -- Eagles, Cowboys, Skins and Giants -- are looking so good. And that goal line stand to end the Panthers...? PRICELESS!!!!!

Eagles 38
Panthers 10

Any questions how good I feel for the first time in forever????????

And if I thought it was hot in Texas...?

My Lost Month post mentions, several times, how grossly hot it was during the long weekend Chip and I spent in San Antonio for Mark Jr's BMT graduation. It has been over 100 degrees in PA many times, but the solution for me has always been a combination of air conditioning and swimming pools. My electric bills have REALLY increased over the past 1-3 years too; I don't mind being in my 40s but I DO mind that my internal thermostat has stopped working. I am hot ALL the time. As in, I rarely wear a coat in the snow. As in, hats? What do you mean heat escapes from your head? That's AWESOME... can it happen to me? I want Jr. to get stationed in Alaska -- I'll go THERE in August rather than...

Biloxi, Mississippi. In mid-August. Really????????? If, and it is a BIG if, my body temperature re-regulates itself after the last week or so, I will be stunned. You know how people say "it isn't the heat, it's the humidity"? Those people are NOT lying to you -- believe them!!! The one consolation is that it was almost as hot in PA while we were gone; less humid (which DOES make a difference), but it was apparently pretty gross here too. That being said, we had a wonderful trip and nice long visits with Mark Jr. -- a tremendous improvement over the nightmarish, time-limited trip that was San Antonio. What was so incredible was being able to sit outside while the kids played in the hotel pool, Mark smoked (and I didn't -- SIX MONTHS!) and just talk with my son without feeling as if his MTI was going to pop out from behind a tree (oh wait... there WAS no shade in San Antonio) and prevent me from seeing him. Despite the choking humidity and heat index well over 100 degrees every day, we had a wonderful trip. There are some (now, looking back) funny parts:

(1) The trip down... we were scheduled originally to drive down to Mississippi, taking several days to do so. At some point, my wonderful husband decided that he didn't want to do that. I guess in hindsight (and wearing really thick glasses), it was the right decision. So we flew. With an 8 year old and a 3 year old. With NO direct flights to Biloxi (because who REALLY wants to go to Biloxi??) from Philadelphia. Our flight left the terminal in Philly on schedule with a transfer scheduled in Charleston, NC to a smaller plane to take us to Biloxi. There was almost exactly an hour between flights -- it was NOT enough time. It wouldn't have BEEN enough time even if our plane had taken off from Philly on time. I said the plane left the terminal on time -- we then waited well over an hour on the runway at Philly. Oh yeah... this vacation is starting off REAL well... we're going to miss a connecting flight to Biloxi where no one wants to really be. We get to Charleston, NC in good time (pilot had a lead foot)... and if US Airways had let those of us with connecting flights off of the plane AND we had run really fast with the 2 kids AND we had a clue where in Charlotte/Douglas Airport the new gate was... We all know those things did not happen. We missed our connection and since no one really wants to go to Biloxi, there wasn't another flight until the next morning.

US Airways instead offered to fly us to Mobile, Alabama. We had no rental car in Mobile, Alabama; the rental car was in Biloxi, Mississippi. Oh goody! A three hour layover in a strange airport (with no smoking area for my husband) and we're not going to have any way of getting from Alabama to Mississippi (about an hour drive because people drive FAST down South) because Orbitz is refusing to help us make new arrangements for our travel and Avis in Mobile isn't going to honor our Avis in Biloxi reservations. Meanwhile, we're in Charlotte, NC... we couldn't have driven down to Mississippi instead of flying with 2 small kids with a connecting flight to a city that no one wants to go to?????????? I could have knit in the car!

Without going into excruciating details, if you are EVER considering booking a trip with Orbitz, you need to NOT do so. I have never encountered worse customer service (and am still experiencing it almost 2 weeks later by the way).

After eventually deciding that this was now an ADVENTURE (it was no longer a fun family vacation and we were only a few hours into the trip), we took the flight to Mobile, Alabama. We rented a car one-way to Biloxi (and that was an all-day drama on Thursday which was solved by the AMAZING customer service provided by Avis at Biloxi/Gulfport "International" Airport). We drove to the base and picked Jr. up to spend less than an hour with him before he had to be back (the plan had been to spend several hours with him on Wednesday but missed connections screwed THAT plan to the wall). So now we are in Biloxi, Mississippi -- more on that in a minute.

(2) Mark flushed his cell phone down the airplane's toilet on the way home. Need I say more?

(3) There was a very gay man, painted all in silver, who accosted Mark and Mark Jr. (the guy ignored me, Ryan and Jenny) at Cafe du Monde in New Orleans. He had balloons for breasts and he posed for a picture while extending his tongue down to one of the balloons. There is a picture on facebook -- this is a family blog!!!!!!

Those are the three things that were either funny at the time or are, in hindsight, quite amusing to me. Who would want to go to Biloxi? Let me recommend it to ALL of you (not in August -- it was gross) as a potential winter vacation spot! Biloxi was hit harder than New Orleans by Hurricaine Katrina in 2005; New Orleans got flooded, but that's because it's below sea level. In the 4 years since Katrina, it is obvious that the people of Mississippi's Gulf Coast have not only pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, but have gone overboard on their recovery efforts. Other than the heat, I was extremely impressed by Biloxi and by the American Spirit of the Mississippi residents. If you ask them about what Katrina did (and most of them do NOT bring it up in conversation), they will point out things that they still haven't fixed and there are signs of what the big storm did to the region. However, they do not make their existence about "We are VICTIMS of Katrina." We visited Jefferson Davis's house, Beauvoir, which was demolished by Katrina -- and were able to tour the completely re-modeled main house and the Confederate cemetery behind it. The guide almost made Katrina into a positive because the ripping down of the walls that happened allowed those who maintain Beauvoir to see what color the walls REALLY were supposed to be.

New Orleans has not recovered... I wonder how much if that lack of recovery is someone else's fault and how much is the lack of sheer willpower to come back better than ever. In New Orleans, it was difficult to find any store that didn't have a display of Katrina-related merchandise. It was almost as if those in Mississippi were saying "OK you big bitch of a storm... we'll re-build" while the people of New Orleans were saying "Feel sorry for us because we got hit by a hurricane." It's very difficult to describe the differences in attitudes between the two states, but it is very obvious when one visits both. I could, and probably will at some point, wax political about the differences; not in the mood today. I keep meaning to write a blog post about my political philosophy in general -- because neither party represents me in the slightest anymore -- but that will need to be a post in and of itself.

No clients got arrested for a custody dispute while I was gone (almost, but not quite). There were no REAL emergencies that arose while I took my first ever, non-maternity consecutive 2 week vacation. To catch up on the post from early July, my client who had his conviction overturned is out of prison (that took another several days after the blog post) and is working. I have been constantly reminded, including once during my vacation and again today, that if a person chooses to do the right thing, they will be smacked down each and every time for it. The nice thing is that, because I emotionally eliminated the people who didn't support me from my life four months ago, the people who remain DO support me. I had a horrible afternoon today at work -- really uncalled for nastiness during a court hearing for which I was subpoenaed mid-morning on my first day back in the office after 2 weeks! A friend was absolutely there for me after the crappy experience. Actually a couple of friends were there, but one in particular reminded me that it is in my nature to do the right thing whether I want to or not... hearing from my friend that he is "proud of me" because I did the right thing in a complex legal situation was exactly what I needed to hear. He talked me down off the "I do not want to practice law anymore" fence again! There ARE nice lawyers out there; just too few and far between.

So school re-starts for Ryan next week for sure and, God willing for Mark too (there's a contract dispute that is worrying me non-stop). Jenny starts preschool on September 11th and I have warned the principal that she is nowhere NEAR as co-operative as Ryan was, Jenny definitely has a mind of her own; that is a very polite way of describing my daughter's "sassy" personality. Jr. is still in training in Biloxi. Who knows... if he stays down there long enough, maybe I'll fly down in the WINTER to visit him. Alaska... really. According to Sarah Palin, you can see Russia from there... that's close enough to Afghanistan for my tastes as a parent! I'm rooting for Alaska. Chip is still looking for a full-time teaching job; the market is ghastly and it stinks that a young adult who has followed the"rules" and graduated with honors despite having a very small extended family to emotionally support him can't find a job. I feel badly for Chip that his persistence and hard work hasn't yet paid off. Fingers crossed BIG time for him to find a permanent teaching job.

Besides... he gets a full-time job and I get a craft room. Thanks for reading my mental rambles.. pictures will be added later.

P.S. I added pictures above. Interestingly enough, the devastation picture was from Mississippi and the family picture was from New Orleans. I thought it was important to show what the Gulf Coast still looks like.

The Lost Month -- a/k/a June 2009

Wow!!! What state am I in? What time zone? Does that thermometer REALLY say 107 ????? WHAT day do you want to put that on my calendar??? I put time into the court nine weeks ago!!! I'm melting!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was June. Two and a half days in Harrisburg. Five days in San Antonio, Texas. Five days in the Poconos. Unfathomable heat. Pouring rain and hail. If I wasn't withering from the sun, I was drowning in the incessant rain (gonna build me a boat... Jenny wants sheep on it). Court dates. Briefs due. Swim meets. My blackberry almost rebelled completely. The people who matter all knew and understood that June was going to be a nightmare -- those who didn't know June was going to be a nightmare...? Well, you can read the last two posts to understand how little I care about those who aren't on the card list. Add two more people (or subtract 2 people if one is being specific since they are OFF the list) with no further comments. I'm over that part of 2009 and it is ALL good.

The funniest thing about last month was that it really was NOT that different from Junes before it. I go to Harrisburg every year for this one excellent seminar. One if the kids or the other have been swimming for years now so that schedule is the same. But then there was San Antonio... and Mark's BMT graduation. Hotter than the fires of Hell doesn't even begin to describe the temperature. It was 103 when Chip and I landed. Yes... I got onto a plane WITH my knitting needles... twice! Of course, by the last day of the trip in that CRAZY heat, I would have offered to fly the damn plane just to get home! I have never felt heat like that in my life and if I HAVE felt heat like that, I wasn't 45 and having hot flashes when it gets above 70 degrees.

I guess I am now supposed to do the typical Proud Air Force Parent post about how wonderful BMT graduation was -- and parts of it WERE wonderful -- but after a lot of thought, I am NOT going to blow sunshine at anyone reading this. That was one of the most HORRID weekends of my life. It was ghastly hot. There was virtually no shade. The base was going through an inspection (that happens every 3 years) so we had to stand in line for "Base Access Passes" in addition to the passes we already had -- outside, in the heat and no shade for close to two hours. Those passes were not checked a SINGLE time while we were there despite dire warnings at the parents' briefing about how if you didn't have an access pass you would be "on the ground with an M16 to your head." REALLY???? In 103 degree heat, Chip and I waited in that line. At least the passes could have been checked ONE time. Mark Jr's TI also decided that limiting base liberty and town passes (even for Honor Grads) was a great idea -- his squadron had a different schedule than every other graduate and we spent the vast majority of Thursday afternoon standing in line for ice cream and then had to RUSH back Friday because his liberty had been shortened and then his squadron had an hour less than others on Saturday too. It was CRAP... and have I mentioned the HEAT?????

I've missed Jr. -- I firmly believe that time limitations shouldn't be permitted during graduation weekend unless there has been a SERIOUS (not some b.s. power kick) infraction of the rules. It was not a good initiation into military life for the families of the new Airmen. And as badly as I feel for myself and Chip with the limitation, the fact that this TI also told honor graduates that, instead of the Sunday town liberty they had earned AS honor grads, they could only have base liberty...? That is just plain wrong. The six men in Jr's squadron who made honor grad earned that extra town pass. Frankly, the time problem when added to the sickening heat ruined the trip for me. As proud as I am of Mark Jr. (and I think I forgot to say that), I was unimpressed with the experience.

But on the high notes... I saw Shamu!!!!! On Saturday, we went to Sea World, rode a couple roller coasters, walked around a little bit and saw Shamu!!! When Sea World first opened 100 years ago when I was a little girl, I wanted to see the killer whale. I never got to SEE the big killer whale. I saw Shamu!!!! Actually, I should say I saw "ShamuS" because there were 4 whales in the tank at one point -- SO cool !!!! Also cool was that Sea World lets military and up to three family members in for free AND recognizes the service men and women and their families before the Shamu show. Sea World was AMAZING!!!!!

Also amazing was the Alamo. When Jr. had to go back from town pass early on Friday, Chip and I were definitely feeling down so I randomly said "let's go into San Antonio and see the Alamo" which we had both wanted to see. Almost everyone who has been there has said how disappointing the Alamo was -- not to a couple of history geeks!!! What an incredible experience the Alamo was! And then we took a boat down on the Riverwalk (which made the temperature drop about 20 degrees) and it was lovely. We went back on Saturday with Jr. and did the boat again -- it was a very interesting experience in architecture and history and culture. The Riverwalk is worth seeing -- sometime between October and April so as to avoid the HEAT. I am in the process of putting pictures up in my facebook albums of the trip. Chip took a lot of those pictures and really showed a talent for photography.

And then there were the Texas highways. Holy Mary, Mother of GOD!!!!! I'll state it very simply for those of you from the Philly area: I would rather drive on the Schukyll Expressway every day in rush hour traffic for the next ten years, twice a day, in a VW beetle than to EVER need to drive on a Texas road again. Any questions??????

I am proud of Mark Jr. and what he has accomplished. He is doing great -- thriving in the Air Force and talking possible career. My heart quite literally almost broke in two when I saw him in his dress blues, accepting his Airman's Coin, marching down the Bomb Run at graduation, looking VERY dapper in his uniform and straightening it if it was even a fraction out of place! I took the requisite "underwear drawer" pictures and pictures of his bed. Say what you like about the Armed Forces (and you BETTER not say it around me or the other moms), they teach a kid to be tidy!!!!!!!! I'm debating a new method of child-rearing with Ryan and Jennifer: SCREAM at them for eight weeks straight and give them less than 5 minutes to eat a meal and make them run in 100 degree heat... apparently, it teaches them to make their beds!

The Poconos the next weekend were wonderful as always. I had gotten Mark (Sr.) the trip for his 40th birthday (which ended up being the day Chip and I left for Texas so our long weekend getaway was postponed a week). By the time we got up to the mountains and into the pool in our room (Caesars.... yes, the one with the champagne glass hot tubs. No, we don't stay in the champagne glass room), I was nearer to collapse than I have ever been. I thought April had been difficult???? June, which was almost over, had eaten me to pieces. We got there, we ate breakfast, we drank a little (uh huh... that's my story and I'm sticking to it; five drinks is NOT a little) and then we vegged. We played a little bingo, ate delicious meals, but mostly we read, knit and watched "West Wing." I have accepted that I am middle-aged when I go to a couples resort and knit a sock while my husband re-reads Harry Potter. It was the best five days I have had in forever. I came back and felt human -- right as the 1st half of 2009 ended (we came home on June 30th). Coming back in a hailstorm with only 20 minutes to get Ryan to a swim meet wasn't great, but it WAS still the first half of 2009 so it was expected to have SOMETHING irritating.

I was planning on the rest of 2009 to be a LITTLE more low-key. I was really, really hoping that 2009, Part II would provide a noticeable improvement over Part I. I should really know better. The second half is already proving to be just as ridiculous as the 1st half of the year was; maybe I'm just numb that I am not getting AS upset as I would have in June. I won a big criminal case on appeal -- I actually won it on June 26th, but didn't know until July 1st -- YAY ME!!!! Or not. My client, against whom all charges have been dismissed and who has been discharged from state prison because I won on appeal, is still sitting in a maximum security state prison as I write this post. I am NOT going to say much more about what I "feel" about this turn of events... at least not right now... except to say this: I won. You lost. Once in a VERY great while, a criminal defense lawyer wins a case... let my client out and stop playing games. I would have enjoyed the win (which really does NOT happen very often in what I do) SO much more if my guy was out of prison right now. Not to mention that my client is blaming me. My client's family is blaming me. I am utterly powerless at this moment in time so it is a completely hollow victory that once again destroys my faith that the criminal justice system works for everyone.

Again, I remember that although I go to sleep with the Constitution as my pillow every night (an old Dennis Miller rant against defense lawyers) when I represent people I know to be guilty, I continue doing so because the system NEEDS people who are willing to fight for the rules and the procedure that are there to protect ALL of us. Pollyanna much? Maybe, but it's what I believe in and it's why I do what I do. Guilt or innocence HAS TO BE irrelevent to me -- my job is to hold the Commonwealth's feet to the fire; to make them follow the rules against unreasonable searches and seizures or Speedy Trial; to make them prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt; to argue for clients who have received an illegal sentence. I believe in our Constitution... most of the time. Not today. Because no one says to an assistant district attorney: you lost. It's time to stop now. No one has the ability to FORCE them to stop. Instead, it's more of a feeling of "what a shame Bonnie won." No one says that... it's just a feeling. I am made to feel badly for doing my job which is necessary to the orderly management of our justice system. I have to be ABLE to win or our system fails -- I am going to lose 99% of my criminal cases in some manner (I can and do call a good plea offer a "win") and that is completely acceptable to me because Society is protected and so are our rights. But every five years or so, I am going to win a case outright. This case is quickly turning into a wholly unecessary drama because the "1%" happened.

I knew from the moment I made my customary timeline in this case (because I truly am a geek) that I SHOULD win at some point. That's not arrogance, it's the case law on Speedy Trial. This was a crystal clear-cut case of a guy not being brought to trial within a year (no boring the readers with excludable time and excusable delay explanations... it's not really a year). Sadder still is that I didn't expect to win the case at the level that I won it -- I thought it would require more appeals because I would lose at this level even though the law is really clear. But the judge did the right thing (this judge does that which means 99% of the time I lose and I try not to take that personally) because he is a good and honorable man. To win the case and to have my client against whom there are, right now, no charges, sitting in a state prison is wrong. At some point, I need to be into practicing law for the money rather than for my belief in the system... this case may just tip me over that edge. I never wanted to be THAT lawyer and it's a shame that the latter part of my career may become one without belief.

But other than my "win that isn't a win", the 2nd half of 2009 is better than the 1st half. Chip is still job hunting. Ryan is still swimming (until July 25th... then we get the six week break Yippee!!!). Jenny is turning into another Keagy Fish (a very special species) -- over the past week she has decided to swim underwater. On purpose... she LOVES looking at things underwater so she submerges herself. It is absolutely terrifying as a parent to watch a child who is barely three hang out underwater for up to 10 seconds at a time. There's some video on facebook... going to get more on there later. Mark Jr. is in Biloxi, Mississippi at tech school (where apparently it makes San Antonio look cool) and we'll be going down to see him there in a few weeks.

And my knitting and crocheting have been prolific. Socks, almost done a blanket for a friend's 1st granddaughter, random projects that call to me and I am making the time for myself to listen to the calling. I am very close to choosing a sweater pattern to make for myself (down to about 3 patterns now and have the yarn for them). I knit and crochet where I used to smoke (and STILL smoke-free, almost 5 months, WITH Mark smoking thirty packs of cigs while we were in the Poconos... I just had no interest) and I like that change. However, I'm really randomly knitting; I find it very hard to focus on a specific project or choice of a pattern which is not my normal knitting "style." If I can find ONE day where somebody doesn't have a claim (or a leash) to me, I plan to spend a day scrapbooking. I'm sort of in an place right now where I go where God/Goddess/Spirit/the Universe move me when I am not working 50 hour weeks into 30 hours of time.

And it is ALL good because it is now the second half of 2009. And it is a sunny, dry day with a cool breeze. I'm going to the pool. Forward my calls.

Christmas Card Clarification

Obviously, it's been over a month since my last post. After the first four months of 2009 being sucked dry by the US Air Force's recruiting process, a heavier-than-usual workload, quitting smoking, college graduations and the day-to-day drudgery of taking kids to school, sitters and then doing it all again at the end of the day.... I needed a break. I also needed to do the "vampire surgery" and to do my best to minimize those negative influences that my last post talks about. Before I go further, I think some clarification is needed...

Being off my Christmas card list doesn't mean that I am going to (initially) be mean or nasty to you if I am required to work with you, speak to you or you text me about what I thought of the new Star Trek movie. Superficial is what "off the Christmas card list" means. I don't hate the people who are not on the Christmas card list. For the most part, I just do not choose to share my thoughts with them or to be anything other than socially polite or to work with them toward common goals/tasks. I guess the best way I can describe it is that those people have become "non-entities" to me -- I don't wish them bad things, I don't wish them good things, I simply don't care. The way I have distinguished most such people on my facebook for example is to create a category called "acquaintances" and exempt those people from seeing the majority of my stuff (pictures, comments, status, etc.). They are, almost exclusively, people with whom I can have a drink at a cocktail party for a judicial campaign, make small talk with and move on with our respective lives. In most cases, there isn't even anger involved -- it's a disconnect, not a fight.

The people who have been taken off my Christmas card list are those who have repeatedly demonstrated that they are not true "friends" (or family) as I describe the word -- they either do not care about me and my family or pretend to do so or have done something that I find unacceptable to me personally -- their actions may not be unacceptable to others, but they are to me. I don't hate them, I just choose not to associate with them. It isn't a personal attack. The one exception where I decided that a person wasn't getting that I was uninterested in her comments about basement cleaning or about her life in general was easily handled -- facebook allows you to "de-friend" someone, emails/texts can be ignored and if there is a medical situation that I need to be aware of, that one person can call and I will, naturally, get back to her. Lack of interest in the mundane does not extend to lack of concern if there is a serious problem (for family anyway). However, that one person who was "de-friended" has still not ONE time gotten in touch with me or the older two kids to ask how her nephew is doing in basic training or how to write to him. She also failed to send a card to my oldest son for his honors college graduation. Yes, it WAS a test... she failed. Nope, no one in my family decided to bother with her birthday last week -- non-entities do not require extra effort and she has had far too many chances over 42 years to do the right thing.

The vast majority of people who are off the Christmas card list are simply people who have, in one way or another, demonstrated one too many times that my time is better spent elsewhere and with other people. Many years ago, before facebook, twitter, emails or the internet, people spoke to one another. People wrote letters to one another. People also understood that actions and words have consequences. I am too old and too set in my ways to change my beliefs that there are correct actions/words and incorrect actions/words. I am far from perfect myself -- I have made and will continue to make many mistakes. When I hurt someone's feelings (intentionally or unintentionally), I really do my best to say "I'm sorry" without any other qualifiers if I am truly sorry for my words or actions. My decision to eliminate the emotional vampires from my day-to-day life was and is based in a self-protection concept: I am not going to apologize for making myself healthier and removing these people (and a couple of the activities) because doing so HAS made me feel better in the past month. It is an ongoing process as I learned again yesterday with the action of a person who I thought to be a friend -- "acquaintance" is a better description. That's not a statement that I dislike the person since I actually like the person on a certain level; just not going to trust that person because the person obviously does not WANT that trust. No harm, no foul.

All that being clarified (lawyer talk for long-winded; too bad I don't bill by the hour for blogging)... Life is improving. We are VERY proud of Chip not only for his cum laude graduation, but for the way in which he jumped RIGHT into the teaching fray and has been subbing for the past few weeks. He really planned all of that out well -- got the documentation that he needed from his college, got all of the paperwork into our local school district, religiously checks the website for subs -- he's doing GREAT. God willing, he gets a full-time teaching job by doing the right thing as he has almost always done! It would restore some of my lost faith in humanity if Chip were to do the right thing, graduate in four years with honors and with no trouble (other than that witch he used to date), look for a job and find one. Good guys DO need to finish first once in awhile, right?

Ryan and Jenny are doing wonderfully. Ryan is finishing up 2nd grade and, other than HATING the physical act of writing, is doing great in school. I hope Jr. appreciates the effort it took to get Ryan to write two letters to his big brother! Ryan can't wait until Jr. gets internet access and he can send emails and talk on the webcam! Ryan does NOT like writing! Ryan is also excited because the pool is open on weekends and because swim team is starting back up. He's an average, exuberant 8 year old kid. Average is good when you are eight -- look at the little kids who became tv stars as children; drug addictions, suicides, trouble with the law. Kids need to be average until they are at LEAST ten or twelve -- I wish our society recognized that fact more. It's something that I am learning as a parent with "the babies" -- I can be and am proud of them -- disgustingly so -- but they need to be kids and have fun for a few years. I won't add to this LONG post by going into my opinions on education in America today; that will need to be a novel in and of itself. In every way possible, Ryan is where he needs to be (if he wasn't, we would take steps to get him help and not deny problems... that too is parenting). We are proud of him and we want him to have a fun summer playing at the pool and taking a LONG car trip to "ssippi" as Jenny calls Mississippi.

Jenny took a set of swimming lessons at the YMCA so we could feel at least marginally comfortable with her in the water at Beachcomber and also so she would be comfortable and not afraid of being in a pool without water wings. As an aside, I have NEVER understood what parent thinks that those things are ok. They are dangerous and pure parenting sloppiness in my opinion. If your kid can't swim, you need to be WITH them in the pool -- water wings are not going to save your child's life and kids think they are safe wearing them. Pure stupidity -- especially after numorous people have explained the dangers to you and you still allow your child to put those damn things on and give in TO your child when s/he refuses to go in the water without the dangerous water wings! Anyway... when Jenny is in the YMCA pool for lessons, she wears (as do all kids) a safety vest or bubbles unless one of us or her teacher is physically hands-on her. She usually wears the floats for part of a family swim and then swims with one of us holding her. She can also stand in the shallow end at Beachcomber and LOVES to play there and in the baby pool. She is starting full-time pre-school in September because the only other option was to put her into a 2 day a week full-day program. I hate being a working parent sometimes -- my schedule adjusts some because I am self-employed, but I don't have a grandparent to help out when my schedule gets tight and we want Jenny to go to THIS school for the next 2 years. So it was 2 days or 5 days and we chose five. Of course, I don't have a grandparent paying her pre-school tuition either -- so working full-time isn't an option.

And mercifully, Jenny is also potty-trained (and has been for several months... just never mentioned it). After five kids, I am THRILLED to be finished with diapers!!! She still wears a pull-up at night (in her Big Girl Princess Bed), but she's been waking up dry almost every morning so we'll probably eliminate that pull-up really soon. We had a BLAST for her birthday!!! Even I was overwhelmed by the amount of pink (and after the 22 years between the girls, that was QUITE a task). We called it the "Barbie Birthday" although there were components of princesses and My Little Pony too. She loves her dolls although I have to say that the one Barbie who sings the same 2 songs over and over may be losing her batteries soon! She also got the classic Barbie car with a Malibu Barbie inside (who usually drives Hillary Clinton Barbie around -- it's a HOWL!!!) and a ballerina dress-up and butterfly wings and a wand and a Barbie Princess movie. Kate... if you are reading this... you are a SERIOUS enabler and when you and that man you are marrying have kids, just remember that paybacks are a bitch!

As for Jr., if you are other than an "acquaintance" on my facebook, you can read what's going on with him. If you are NOT on my facebook (or have been removed from it because you don't get that your opinions are unwelcome when you haven't bothered to call or email since Jr's party) and are interested, feel free to email me. I refuse to put his status updates and his accomplishments up here because those who are off the Christmas card list just don't get to know those details. Those who are off the list are off, for the most part, for failure to show interest in what he (and our family) were going through during the earlier part of 2009 -- if you don't care enough about him to want to write to him or to ask one of us how he is doing, you don't get to vicariously follow his triumphs through this blog. That being said, many of the people on that "acquaintance" list would get information if they asked how he was doing (and several of them have). We'll just say there have been triumphs and I can't wait to see him!!!

And now, finally to the true nature of friendship... as is obvious from my recent posts, I have been exhausted, angry, nicotine-deprived (for almost 4 months; I don't feel at ALL deprived... I am so OVER smoking), overworked and generally feeling lousy for most of the 1st half of this year. I write tongue-in-cheek about the Christmas card list, but some of the people who were surgically-removed from my life were family and another was someone who was one of my closest friends for more than a decade. The removals were necessary for my mental health (and there is at least one person who needs to BE removed and I can't figure out how to do so without being cruel so they're still around). It is mentally unhealthy for me to be the one to host holiday dinners and Eagles parties only to have guests arrive and complain about how the food isn't gluten-free or to NOT complain but remind everyone in the room how the gluten-free lifestyle is best. Show me a letter from a doctor that says "Person X has been diagnosed as a celiac," (because there is a medical test for that condition) and then I'll care about your health kick du jour. Chiropractors and self-diagnoses don't count. It is mentally unhealthy for me to waste hours of my time standing at my local polls twice a year handing out green pieces of paper to people who have already decided how to vote -- if I take that same 30-40 hours and devote the time to a specific candidate for judge who I think will be AWESOME, that time is MUCH better spent and I feel better about what I am doing. It is mentally unhealthy for me to be around a group of people if ONE of the people in that group makes me want to punch her in the face (to quote Jr. before BMT). I miss the group, but I can't stand one of the people in it and do NOT want to be rude and tell her so. So sometimes, it's all about balance too.

And then there are the REAL friends... on May 15th, at about 9 a.m., my office doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting a client and it was WAY too early for mail or UPS. Standing there, loaded down with yarn gifts, was a friend who although she lives sort of locally, was primarily an online friend with shared interests. Friends from ALL over this country -- several of whom I had only spoken to online and a few on the phone when one of our group needed legal help -- had sent yarn to the local friend to give to me, along with knitting books, patterns that were adapted for my love of circular knitting and that I had wanted to make, but hadn't had time to convert, red, white and blue sock yarn to celebrate Jr's entry into the Air Force, handmade stitch markers and cards that had me sobbing. The love that was sent with those presents overwhelmed me completely. I guess when one's own mother doesn't call to ask how one is doing the day that one's child leaves for basic training (on the cell phone that was put on MY plan so she COULD call me and her three oldest grandchildren because her other daughter, whom she has financially supported for years, can't spare the minutes) -- I guess that makes me a little jaded these days. I won't even go into the grotesque display of inappropriate behavior I was subjected to this weekend because, as I explained above, such people are "non-entities" now and there is no sense in wasting energy on being disappointed.

BUT, having become so jaded and having to time and time and time again lessen my expectations of people, when people do something SO amazingly nice, they need to be recognized -- not as individuals (because this was a group effort and I love ALL of the women in the group for their support over these past horrible months), but as people brought together by a love of crafts and by a belief that a small group of people CAN change the world. Or at least my small portion of it. Their thoughtfulness at a time in my life when I was down, bruised and almost (but not quite) broken re-invigorated my outlook and reminded me that even though I can't count on people that any person SHOULD be able to count upon, I do have people out there that I CAN count on. At the time of the yarn gifting orgy, I thought it was me and my husband and our kids against the entire world. I was alone and I was scared and I was hurting -- it's why I had allowed the vampires to stay in my life long after I knew they needed to be gone.

So to my girls... ALL of you: THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!! Every time I even touch those gifts, I feel better -- you all made a difference. And to my favorite "yarn mule"... lunch again SOON with or without the excuse of a yarn store close-out sale!!! At least after I get back from Texas and the Poconos; we're looking at July now!!!

Once again, the post is long. For those of you who stuck through to the end, look at it this way. I only post once a month or six weeks -- divide the length by 4 or 6 and it's reasonable.